Advance Care Planning - Making one's medical wishes known

What controversy there is over advance care planning!
As a New York Times article wrote in the 1950s, unlike in the Victorian Era when people were open about death and prudish about sex, in this day and age, we are gregarious about sex and stiff about stiffs.  As a society (and I believe this is generalizable) we are in an era when we are truly death adverse.  
Yet we want to be certain that we are cared for throughout our life span in accordance to our own personal wishes (or in cohort with the needs and wishes of our families, for some).  The only way this can happen is if we make our wishes known, if we plan and consider the difficult questions and scenarios.
There will come a time when we each near death, and possibly a time before that when we will not be able to speak for ourselves.  Each one of us will need someone to speak up on our behalf.  That person, the health care proxy, needs to know our wishes and be willing and able to advocate for us.
Each state has somewhat different laws outlining the priorities of decision-makers:
In Massachusetts, the designated health care proxy trumps all.  If you have not selected someone as your healthcare proxy, your family will be asked and if there is disagreement, the courts might have to appoint someone.
In New York, the living will trumps the healthcare proxy.
And so forth.

So, to be certain that your wishes are followed through, you need to find a way to share your wishes with your healthcare proxy, your doctors, your family, your nurses and other people caring for you when that fateful time comes.  This is about self-advocacy, about self-determination.

Below are some favorite resources